This is my Story, this is my song...

We all have stories to tell. Past journeys, both good and bad to tell. No to shout out to praise the Lord for all He is and has done. To tell people, to encourage them, that 'if I can do it, so can you!'

When I began my blog I didn't really want to be very personal, i just wanted to encourage people. Yet I have had comments from people wanting to know more.

So this is my story:

I became a christian at the age of 6 and a Junior solider in the Salvation Army when I was 7. I have grown up in a christian family and at Ashford Salvation Army Christian Centre (not always know as that).

At my church there was one lady who was such an inspiration and influence to me, who has now been promoted to glory. Her name was Mary and she taught me how to play the Cornet. When I was about 11-12years old she was diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease and even throughout that time she continued to teach me. Now I'm older I wish that I had know her better, but the time I did know her helped me to keep going throughout the toughest times.

In secondary school I was a high flyer, but I also have dyslexia and was badly bullied. To be truthful I was a bit of a geek. I had ambition I wanted to become a Doctor and I also thought that God did too. I got the GCSE's to go for the A levels needed for this.

However during sixth form I suffered from depression, which I kept silent from everyone, even my friends and family. Soon my friends noticed and began to help me with this. That didn't stop it from effecting my grades. I took A levels in Art, Biology, Chemistry and Physics (Biology was my best GCSE subject with units being A*, overall awarded a BB for double Science). When I went to get my As level results, I knew I had failed, but I didn't know how badly. I received 'U's (ungraded) for all of them!

I was devastated. I blamed God! I didn't go to church a lot. I felt I had lost my dream. I thought God had destroyed it.

Slowly with the help of some wonderful and very wise leaders and friends I came back. Ian and Sue Woodgate kept encouraging me and I started going to church more and more. I started loving God again. I started wanting to learn more about Him.

Since that moment I have grown so much in Jesus' love. I went to retreats where I was baptised by the Holy Spirit. From there I became a senior solider.

Two Soul Survivors later and a lot of work on me by God and this is the Clare you now see writing before you.

As for where did I train for ministry... I haven't. Hopefully I will be training at The William Booth College in London to become an officer in the Salvation Army, in about 2 years from now.

Well... that's my story and this is my song:

'Praising the Saviour all the day long!'

No matter the cost

There is something wonderful about a parent's love for their child. I am not a parent and at the moment cannot completely understand how the parent feels. But I know it from the other side as a child.
When I view God as my Father, I feel very honoured to have Him. When I try and picture God as 'The Father' I don't see a picture of anything spectacular. I see Him as my Dad, my Heavenly ABBA (means daddy in Arabic). When Jesus cries out 'ABBA, Father', He cries out for His 'Daddy'. We too can cry out to Him as 'Daddy' just like Jesus did.

I was challenged this week to 'paint' a picture of God, in anyway. When I thought about the only way I could do that is to draw it. I saw a large hand reaching down to hold a small hand and underneath it I could see a child walking along holding hands with their parent. That's how I pictured God. A Father who holds our hand, 'NO MATTER THE COST!'

At Christmas I heard J.John tell this story and it really hit me;

A bus driver went to a country school to pick up the children and drop them home. He was a very experienced and good bus driver. He had, had no accidents and knew all the winding tiny roads well. One day as usual he drove the bus to collect the children from the school.
He waited for all the children to get on the bus and made sure everyone he was taking home was there. As He drove of he was going through the roads he knows so well and had driven so many times, when he got to the steep hill. As he was driving down the hill, he realised to his horror that the breaks had failed. He was terrified but made sure that he didn't panic and that the children did not panic either. He knew the road so well, that he knew that just before the bottom was a gate to a field. He began to formulated a plan. If he could swing round into the field, the bus would naturally come to a stop and none of the children would be harmed.
Yet as he arrived at the point where he could see the gate, he saw a boy playing there. Quickly he had to make a decision, save all the children on the bus and risk running over the boy or save the boy and risk killing all the children? What was he going to do? It was such a hard decision.
Finally at the last moment he swung the bus round, through the gates and into the field. No one on the bus was hurt. When parents and people came to see what had happened, they asked the police what had happened. It was tragic the boy had died on the scene. They asked if the driver was alright and the policeman replied, 'He's very shocked. He's just ran over his own son!'
That man killed his son to save those children.
That's what God the Father has done for you.

NO MATTER THE COST!

Journeys

Life is an amazing Journey. We all have to embark upon it. Some of us may seem more successful at it then others. Yet in reality we are all striving to be something better and none of us can really ever match up to Jesus. But we can keep on striving.

Our journeys at times can be as tough as hell or like living out a piece of heaven here on earth and anywhere in between. The journey can be enjoyable and fun, or it can be a boring one and like young children we could be asking 'Are we nearly there yet?'

We have to keep our eyes fixed upon the destination, Heaven and that we will stay upon the right road. Other roads may tempt us, but we must trust in God and go His way and not our way.

Your on your journey, driving along in your car... Where is Jesus in your car?

Is He in the boot? Right at the back of your mind, your going your way and every now and then you think about Him?

Or is He in the back seat? A little better. There for company, someone to talk to, someone to share your journey with and every now and then prompt you to where you should go?

Perhaps by now your thinking 'no He's in the front passenger seat. He my navigator'? But you still make the decisions. He's there with you, telling you where to go. He says 'Go this way', but you question 'this way looks quicker?' Your still in control!

So now your thinking He's driving my car. He's in control.

I have one question for you...

ARE YOU A BACK SEAT DRIVER?

Storms

Sorry its been a while, but had a bit of trouble getting back on to do anything.

A few weeks ago I was challenge by God to preach. He clearly spoke to me and said 'Clare I want you to talk to my people. I want you to encourage them. I want you to show them that I am always there and I am a Cloud Lifter.'
At first I was like 'no way' and I thought I had made it up. I couldn't stand up and speak. I'm not ready God, use someone else. But still God said 'Yes you can Clare, I will be with you!'
So I plucked up my courage and text Ian the senior leader at my church with Sue. I asked if I could preach, that I needed a challenge and this was it.
So Ian text back 'Yes' and after a lot of I'm not sure I want to do it now, we worked out a date.
I had prepared and wrote down what God was telling me, I found Bible passages that backed up my point.
It got to the day and in the morning Joel Whitewood preached and then I was to in the evening at Disciple college. I was fine until I walked into the building then I felt nervous and was scared. I prayed continuously throughout the worship and as I walked up there. When I got to the front I looked to the door- my escape route should anything go horribly wrong and took a deep breath.
As I began to speak, instead of nerves I began to feel peace and my fear had turned into the Holy Spirit's power. After I had spoke and I sat down, I realised that, God will call those who cannot speak to speak and those who can to be silent. He will ask those who are weak to do things in his power to make strong people look like fools.

I realised that I didn't do anything. All I had to do was to stand up and open my mouth. It was God who had filled it with words. He gave me a clear message to begin with.

To all you out there who cannot speak, who feel weak, be encouraged for it is the weak and powerless God uses. 'My Grace is enough for you. When you are weak. My power in you is made perfect' 2Corinthians 12:9

Amazing love

First of I guess i should tell you all that I am a Christian and I go to Ashford Salvation Army Christian Centre. It is an amazing place to be at and God is definitely pouring out His anointing on many people there.
Last year (2006) was a very strange year... it was full of change, but it was also the best and worst time all rolled into one. This last year was all about choices and future. I was finishing sixth form. I had applied for uni and I had some sort of idea of what the future may have in store. However God had other plans, better plans. His plans are always to prosper and not to harm, yet I was still afraid. God was calling me into Officership with the Salvation Army. I wasn't sure if I wanted to do that. I wasn't sure if I could do that. I wasn't a leader. I had no authority or vision. I couldn't stand up and preach and teach a congregation! What was God thinking?
Yet God knew what He was doing! He provided people to help me through this time and people to shout at me 'When are you just going to accept it?' and finally I did. Finally I let God have the control over my life and finally I began to believe in this plan of His.
As soon as I begun to work on this plan, God gave me peace and a sense of purpose. But just as things were going well... boom things all fell to pieces. I had applied to uni and was praying that God would give me an answer to whether I was to go to uni before I took up Officership and God just kept giving me the answer and I kept listening, but other people did not believe me and wanted me to go. I was having arguments, losing people I love and all because of God's plan? What was going on? Well a wise person told me it was because I was obeying and Satan will try his very best to stop me. Yet again Jesus was there showing me the way, helping me and providing for me.
One night as I questioned and doubted again, I opened my Bible to Isaiah, to a passage that I liked. As I read I prayed 'Jesus use Your word. Give me something to cling onto throughout this bad time.' and He answered. I decided to read on a bit and found Isaiah 42, which was very encouraging. When I heard a noise and looked over I saw The Message. I knew that God was telling me to read it. When I opened it to Isaiah 42, I saw and read Isaiah 43:

'But now God's message... "Don't be afraid, I have redeemed you. I've called your name. You're mine. When you're in over your head, I'll be there with you. When you're in rough water's, you will not go down. When you're between a rock and a hard place, it won't be a dead end-

Because I am God, your personal God, The Holy of Israel, your Savior. I paid a huge price for you: all of Egypt, with rich Cush and Seba thrown in! THAT'S how much you mean to me! THAT'S HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU! I'd sell off the whole world to get you back, trade the creation just for you. So don't be afraid: I'm with you."

It spoke so much to me and more when you put it into today's context. He also gave His only son's life to buy us back. It speaks of an amazing love that is for each one of us. It gave me hope and strength. I was not afraid anymore for Jesus is always with me. When I read that I knew that I had nothing to doubt. It was all God and it is all because HE LOVES ME!!!

Will you let Him love you?