Journeys end, new beginnings...

For the last four weeks we as a church have been doing a course called Journey. It replaced Alpha because no one wanted to do it or the reality was no one in the church invited people to do it. Yet I know that many people within my family did invite people and ask and ask but the answer always seemed to be 'NO'. I believe that God has a reason behind this, I believe that it all needs to be in God's timing and maybe Alpha wasn't this time and Journey was.

This week was the last week of the course which has opened up so many questions, has been a great place to discuss issues and just being together and I know that I personally have got a lot from this and so have many others.

But know the Journey has ended, but for me a new beginning has come. A fresh start! (Although I need at least 10 new starts a day with all my mistakes) Yet this course has come at a time when I really needed to refocus. It came at a time when all I have wanted to do was walk out of Ashford Salvation Army Christian Centre and find somewhere else to worship. Somewhere comfortable.Not because God is not there, because He is and His presence is wonderful and blesses us daily, but because of the past, because of history with people, because I have felt like I have been suffocating in a sea of trying my hardest not to let those things get in the way of God and me. There have been times when I have been in floods of tears, screaming out to God, asking where is He? There have been times when all I've wanted to do is cry and there have been no tears, just the pain. I have felt alone in the midst of many caring and loving people around me, yet no one really knew how I felt and what I had to face every time I walked in.

If I had of left to be comfortable, what would of happened... not a lot because I wanted to leave, I didn't need to leave and God was still needing me where I was already. So with some very wise and loving friends and leaders, I stayed knowing this is where God has placed me. And although the pain was still there I wasn't so much alone.

God gave me people, He provided for me. If you are ever feeling alone remember that God has not left you and that He is always with you.

Now God, yet again has giving me a new beginning, a fresh start, not anywhere else but here where I belong for now. His mercy is so great and I thank God so much that He will always be there and there is always another chance.

Don't be afraid, for I am with you, Do not be dismayed,

for I am your God. I will strengthen you.

I will help you. I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.

Isaiah 41:10

God was on the dual controls

Yesterday my interview went so well. I was so nervous and scared. Yet as I sat down I knew that God was sitting beside me on the dual controls to help me before I crashed! Which I didn't because I let Him take ultimate control not just dual control! I let God tell me what I needed to say and although it wasn't always excellently articulated it was from God and my heart. Hopefully this was enough, no I know it was enough, because God is enough.
It was very scary sitting there being stared at by four wise and very important people all asking me really hard questions, BUT GOD GAVE ME THE ANSWERS!!

We do not always need to have all the answers and some things we will never be able to understand. We, I just need to accept that we don't need all the answers and some things only God will know the answers too. Yet I know that He allowed me to be able to answer those very hard and person questions with conviction and boldness (well not to begin with)!

'I will praise your Lord, with all of my heart.

I will tell of all the miracles you have done.

I will be happy because of you;

God Most High, I will sing

praises to Your name!'

Psalm 9:1-2

Tonights the night...

Well tonight is the night or rather evening that it all happens. By all I mean my scary interview for Officership training.
Although I am not that scared or worried at the moment and am trusting that God has gone before me, like He promises!

I want to thankyou all who are praying or have prayed for me, they have definitely helped. I will let you all know how it goes. Its at 6.15pm at Maidstone.

'Lean not on your own understanding but trust in the Lord

and He will make your paths straight'

Proverbs 3:6

Revival

Why does the Church need revival? Should we need revival?

Well I guess that the Church needs revival because it has falling into the trap of just playing the game and those who are willing and wanting with a passion to know more of God do not always see it because few others are willing to reassess themselves and their priorities for God to pour out His Spirit of Revival upon a individual, church or nation.
Many people let 'religion' get in the way of God's longing to pour out this power, this marvelous, miraculous change! The 'we must do this, we must do that.' etc... and others just haven't had the right teaching or leadership to directed people and the church entrusted to them by God onto the path of Revival and renewal.
If the Church does not want to die then at this moment in time we need revival. If we are not right with God it will not happen though.

And should the Church need revival... Well I believe the answer is no it should not. But because we are imperfect humans we will never always be alive. The question the Church should be asking itself is 'Can these dry bones live again?'
The Church has become like dry bones and that is why it needs revival. That's why it needs the Holy Spirit to breath life into the bones in the desert. And when the dry bones of the Church begin to live and dance in the Holy Spirit's, we will begin to see others being brought back to life and choosing to live the life Jesus has given and called us all to!

Yes the Church needs revival and no we should not need it if we are walking the right path in the right direction in unity with each other and God!

Do you believe that 'These dry bones can live?'

Ezekiel 37

Do you want to know more?

As lent approaches we as Christians begin to really think about this! However this video shows that its not the story that counts. Its the fact that Jesus overcame death, defeated it! Rose again and is still ALIVE! amen and am I glad about that!

Our churches too should be alive, if we are full of The Holy Spirit! We should be the church of Act 2. Community lived out, united by God, whatever colour, cred or denomination.

This video also links in with what The Salvation Army are doing at this time: Self denial. Almost like lent yet the money we would usual spend on what we give up we donate to other countries etc...

As a Church, one Church (Jesus is coming to marry a Bride, not a harem) we should be seeking only to be Acts 2. That is how the Bible portrays Church to be, 'should be'. Interdependent on the family God has provided for us. Not arguing whether we should always say the Lords prayer or whether we celebrate the love feast (communion) etc... We should be united in Jesus name. He did more than die for us!!

'All believers devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching, and to fellowship, and to sharing in meals (including the Lord's supper), and to prayer.

A deep sense of awe came over them all, and the apostles performed many miraculous signs and wonders. And all the believers met together in one place and shared everything they had.

They sold their property and possessions and shared the money with those in need.

They worshiped together at the Temple each day, met in homes for the Lord's supper, and shared their meals with great joy and generosity- all the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all people.

And each day the Lord added to their fellowship those who were being saved.' Acts 2:42-47

And we sometimes wonder why are Church is in decline!

There is something quite beautiful...

There is something quite beautiful about children. I am at the moment the acting children's ministries officer at church and for the last couple of days have been reaping the benefit of it. There is so much hard work to be done, when organising activities, Sunday schools, trips, kingdom kids and my team. (they are a fabulous team and without them children's ministries would not work or exist.) Although it is such hard work I have been so blessed by the children. One Friday at Kingdom Kids, Sue led a prayer session and I just watched the children and I was almost in tears looking at all these children really wanting to know Jesus, wanting to talk to their friend God. The innocence and earnestness of one little boy made me just pour my thanks out to God so much for these young children, the future. They are such a blessing.
Today I was leading Sunday school, (we usually do this in two groups) yet today I had both groups together for the first time as me leading it. I put so much work into it and it went so well, I thank God so much for that. They all had fun, the older ones were set a challenge to do a dance and perform it to the younger ones and the younger ones did a collage of all Sunday school children's faces to show that 'Jesus knows all about us and loves us'!
(change I to your name or you)
Children are precious:

One hundred years from now, it won't matter,

what car I drove, if I was in the latest fashion,

what house I lived in,

but the world may be a different place

because I was important in a child's life!

I'm Scared

On Tuesday 20th February at 6.15pm I will have my first official interview for Salvation Army Training college! and I'm scared!! I've had an unofficial interview which went good I think, but this time its in front of a panel and in front of my officer Ian. What if I say something really wrong or I don't know the answers? I won't have just embarrassed myself, but my corp, Ian and God!

Not only that, I'm scared that they'll think that I am not a leader, scared that they will judge me, which in a way they will be and scared! Just scared. I don't feel like I have leadership qualities but others have seen that in me! I do believe that this is right and that this is God's plan and purpose. I just don't have the boldness required.

I guess I lack the trust. To trust that God will do the work for me. That God would speak to them that this is right. I know that I have trouble trusting God all the time, yet when I do the results amaze me. So why can't I trust God right now. To believe that its 'all gonna be all right'. That God will let it be all okay and that He will give me the words to say! I don't have an answer... I'm just scared!


But I must and I will try to put my trust wholly in God, for only He can do the impossible!

'But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.

They will soar high on wings like eagles.

They will run and not grow weary.

They will walk and and not faint.'

Isaiah 40:31

All for Your Glory...

The Glory belongs to Christ and Christ only. For only He died upon a cross, sacrificed Himself for our salvation. This crown of love speaks of so much to me. When I think about who Jesus is and what Jesus did. He took my sin upon himself, He loved and still loves me that much to take my place. He is our only hope and yet only He deserves the glory!

When we have done something that we are proud of, when we have done the right thing, we must recognise that it is all for the Glory of Jesus. That when we walk away from that accomplishment we must take of our crowns and lay it at the cross.

The only crown Jesus worn was a crown of thorns, yet He crowns us with His glory, 'in royal robes we don't deserve' and often we just take the royal robes, crown and all the glory, when surely we should be recognising that the ultimate glory goes to the Lamb- to the one who gave His life so that we may life and not die! Our crowns of glory belong to Him and we should be giving all the Glory to Him!

Nothing we do should not be for His Glory and His honour, yet when we do things that do not glorify, the love, the cost, the life we sin against that pure sacrifice of love. That's when I become overwhelmed by the love, grace and mercy of Jesus Christ my King and Saviour, is that even when we break His heart He still forgives us. We were the ones mocking and scoffing at the foot of the cross and Jesus shouted forgiveness to us.

'But God showed His great love for us by sending Christ to die for us

whilst we were still sinners.' Romans 5:8

3 in 1

I have been inspired to write about the Trinity. It is such a complex and mindboggling subject. So many people have thought of fabulous ways to describe it, so us simple people can get our minds around it. Such as water: it can be steam, liquid or ice- 3 things but is the same chemical formula H2O and that works for some people. Others compare it to fire: (Bunsen burner) Orange flame(safety flame), Roaring flame and Blue flame- 3 things but all the same fire, they just do different jobs.

However I like to use the analogy of us, human beings. I will never completely be able to understand it, but to be able to picture it without melting my brain does help.

I see God as ONE body, a whole being. A body has a MIND, HEART and a SOUL. 3 things in 1 body. The MIND to me relates to Creator, Father, the HEART as Jesus, His death for our sins and the SOUL as the Holy Spirit. All 3 things have a different job and all our separate parts, but our all ONE within the body.

Just as we our made in the image of God- 3 in 1. We were all made with a MIND, HEART and a SOUL. Just as the creation we were made we reflect God's image by being 3 in 1. Sometimes our MIND can tell us what we should do, sometimes our HEART and sometimes that gut feeling, our SOUL or SPIRIT can tell us what to do and a lot of the time they work together in situations. Maybe this doesn't make any sense to you but then maybe God's telling you its not for you. But to put it another way, there is a saying 'you can listen to your heart or your head!' In that sense we are all made as 3 in 1, just as in God's image, but He is the ultimate Trinity!

Don't worry Child!

I've not been feeling very happy lately. I have been bitter, lonely and sad in the space of only a few days. When before I was joyful! Its like satan knows when you're happy and close to Jesus and he can't stand that so he has to pull us down and down! BUT, I won't let him, JESUS HAS COME TO SET US FREE!! Free from those chains which once bound us, free from the world and our sins!

I was watching a video on You tube and came across a wonderful video with this song and I know I was guided there by God! He knew that was exactly what I needed to hear. So here's the lyrics for you too.

This is what Your Father is telling you.... are you listening?

to live is Christ, to die is gain

you believe this, but you can't ignore your pain

it's hard enough to make it through another day

now you need someone to hear you when you pray

don't worry, child, I'm right here by your side

i've been here all along, in me won't you abide

is your grief too much to bear? give it to me

i can heal your heart, your soul; i can set you free

when you wake up each day, my promises are new

have faith in me, and i will see you through

is your burden heavy? here, take mine, it's light

my yoke is easy, come and have this life

so, you've fought until you've nothing left to give

every ounce of energy, you have spent

though your heart, it breaks inside, more than anything in life

i long for you to know...

my child, i'm right here by your side

i've been here all along, in me won't you abide

is your grief to much to bear? give it to me

i can heal your heart, your soul; i can set you free

i know the pain that this has caused

i gave my son upon a cross

no, nothing has been lost, believe in me

Inspiration found!

This has just reminded me why I have to keep doing what I'm doing, why I need to keep growing, why I need to keep going!

What I go through isn't half as much as others! There's a world out there full of suffering!

I'll Fight.... Will you?

Inspired, frustrated!!

Do you ever have a mental block? Feel you've lost your inspiration, feel frustrated? Frustrated at yourself, at other people, at the world!

Well tonight I wasn't very sportsman like and had a lot of bitterness and rivalry towards a team, in our Church 'Generation quiz'! On one team was some people who I couldn't lose to. People who have hurt me and people who seemed to have replaced me. So naturally my team tried their hardest to win and in a very funny and strange way we managed to come second place! It wasn't that I wanted the prize, which was just a mug! (second place got chocolate) It was those people can't beat me, they can't get the better of me.

When I was walking home I almost cried, not because I didn't win, but because I realised how much I had actually let myself and God down.

I had forgiven those people for what they did, but I still cannot forget it and I still keep harboring bitterness. This makes me frustrated and I lose all inspiration and I don't really recognise myself when I become like that!

Tonight I've realised that its not just that we have to love our neighbours and our enemies, we don't just have to stand up for injustice and the oppressed, but we also have to love our God given family. We have to forgive them again and again. We have to show them the same mercy as we would anyone else, whether or not they admit their mistake or say their 'sorry'. We are still called by God to love them! I'm not perfect and nobody else is, only Jesus is, we all have failings. I guess I just have be more forgiving towards other Christians who know they're hurting someone and don't do anything about it. I'm still called to love them and not to just get frustrated at them. That doesn't help anyone! I also hope that those people will forgive me for my unsportsmanship and any hurt I have caused them.

Angry Love?

'Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,

that you may be children of your Father in heaven'

Matthew 5:44-45

We, as Christians have all been called to share the love of Jesus. To love your neighbour, to love them as yourself and to love your enemies.
To love someone like yourself is a very hard concept. I understand that we should love everyone, even those who do wrong against us, but to love someone as you love yourself? That can be a very hard thing to do when you don't love yourself.
I've had my fair share of not liking the person I am and I know many people who do not love themselves much, so how can God ask something so hard of us. If we are to love others as ourselves first we must learn to love ourselves and then we can love others.

I've often thought about what kind of love God has called us to. Relational love, being friends with everyone? Is saying 'God loves you' enough? How should we show it? walking up to everyone and hugging them? Unless you feel the urge to do that when you come across a stranger in the street, then I don't believe that is the love that we are called to share. Its not the kind of love that freaks people out, its the Jesus love- hard-hitting, caring. Jesus just didn't go around saying 'God loves you!', he showed them that God loves them. He did more than hug a stranger, He did more then say He cared. If all Jesus did was to go around saying that, then the Church would not be here today!

Not only does God call us to love ourselves and to love our neighbours, but he also calls us to love our enemies. The people who hurt us, the oppressors, the rich and powerful who use it wrongly etc... Its so easy to watch the news and feel bitterness and hatred towards someone who has misused their power, someone who has the power to help that nation and yet ignores the people dieing, who ignores the sufferers cry for help. Yet God still calls us to love that person.
That doesn't stop you from feeling a 'Righteous Anger' towards that situation, towards the injustice in the world. We should be angry, we should stand up for the oppressed. Loving our enemy is hard, but its the ability to be able to both stand up for justice and to reach out to the oppressors with love and grace. Not only is this obeying God's command but it also disarms your enemy. That person isn't expecting love, mercy or grace from you, but hatred. It shows their attitude for what it is, compared to a loving one.

'Its a profound, mysterious truth, Jesus' concept of love overcoming hate.

I may not see it in my life time. But I know it's true.Because on that bed,

full of bruises and stitches, God made it true in me. I got a transfusion

of hope. I couldn't give up.'

John Perkins, a black minister in the US civil rights movement. He said these words after he had been beaten by police and he barely survived.

This the love we are all called to give. You can have the choice, you can either hate or you can love. Its your choice and if you choose to love, you will be filled by the Spirit and be able to love like Jesus, with both love and righteous anger!

'Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.' Romans 12:21

Changing the future?

Today I volunteered at my local primary school. It is also the school in which we as a Church moved Sunday Worship meetings to. We had become too big for our own building and with lots of prayer, vision and courage, we moved up to the school on Easter Sunday 2006. It has been amazing, since we have moved their we have continued to grow. We also moved are children's club 'Kingdom Kids' (see kingdom kids blog) to there on a Friday evening and that too has flourished. Its great because it was actually my primary school. I both loved and hated that place. I've always loved learning and loved going to school, but I also got badly bullied there, so I was very scared to go back there even if it was for Church and now I even volunteer up there. God replaced my bad memories of that place and has filled me with new amazing ones.

The reason I tell you this is because at the moment with Church I am the acting children's ministries officer. I love children so much and they seem to like me too. God has been using that gift for years but I would of never thought that this was possible. Yet He reminded me that through Him all things are possible!!

On my own I could probably do the role, but I would always be run down and would never really get anywhere. With God by my side and the vision He has I know that He will help me succeed!!

I wonder whether God is using the us within the school. Others from church work there and Sue is a governor there and now I volunteer there. God is using and going to use our presence there for miracles. I just know He will! Those children there are the future, many come to Kingdom Kids on a Friday and some our a major part of our Church family- What an influence we have!

COULD WE POSSIBLY BE CHANGING THE FUTURE?