Do you ever have a mental block? Feel you've lost your inspiration, feel frustrated? Frustrated at yourself, at other people, at the world!
Well tonight I wasn't very sportsman like and had a lot of bitterness and rivalry towards a team, in our Church 'Generation quiz'! On one team was some people who I couldn't lose to. People who have hurt me and people who seemed to have replaced me. So naturally my team tried their hardest to win and in a very funny and strange way we managed to come second place! It wasn't that I wanted the prize, which was just a mug! (second place got chocolate) It was those people can't beat me, they can't get the better of me.
When I was walking home I almost cried, not because I didn't win, but because I realised how much I had actually let myself and God down.
I had forgiven those people for what they did, but I still cannot forget it and I still keep harboring bitterness. This makes me frustrated and I lose all inspiration and I don't really recognise myself when I become like that!
Tonight I've realised that its not just that we have to love our neighbours and our enemies, we don't just have to stand up for injustice and the oppressed, but we also have to love our God given family. We have to forgive them again and again. We have to show them the same mercy as we would anyone else, whether or not they admit their mistake or say their 'sorry'. We are still called by God to love them! I'm not perfect and nobody else is, only Jesus is, we all have failings. I guess I just have be more forgiving towards other Christians who know they're hurting someone and don't do anything about it. I'm still called to love them and not to just get frustrated at them. That doesn't help anyone! I also hope that those people will forgive me for my unsportsmanship and any hurt I have caused them.
2 comments:
we love and care for you loads.you are a great inspiration to us.we feel very proud to know and have you as part of our new family .xx
This is an amazing openness. Openness is unique in people. As a born again believer, I believe that you are an anointed lady of God. I do not come from UK, my englash is not god. But I do want you to know that as I cam across this bloge, it has helped me. I can knot believe that you are not a leader in church of church, as you have a matruity that is rare. I read you are aiming to be a leader. Keep going. God is with you and blessses you.
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