For the last four weeks we as a church have been doing a course called Journey. 
It replaced Alpha because no one wanted to do it or the reality was no one in the church invited people to do it. Yet I know that many people within my family did invite people and ask and ask but the answer always seemed to be 'NO'. I believe that God has a reason behind this, I believe that it all needs to be in God's timing and maybe Alpha wasn't this time and Journey was.
It replaced Alpha because no one wanted to do it or the reality was no one in the church invited people to do it. Yet I know that many people within my family did invite people and ask and ask but the answer always seemed to be 'NO'. I believe that God has a reason behind this, I believe that it all needs to be in God's timing and maybe Alpha wasn't this time and Journey was. This week was the last week of the course which has opened up so many questions, has been a great place to discuss issues and just being together and I know that I personally have got a lot from this and so have many others.
But know the Journey has ended, but for me a new beginning has come. A fresh start! (Although I need at least 10 new starts a day with all my mistakes) Yet this course has come at a time when I really needed to refocus. It came at a time when all I have wanted to do was walk out of Ashford Salvation Army Christian Centre and find somewhere else to worship. Somewhere comfortable.Not because God is not there, because He is and His presence is wonderful and blesses us daily, but because of the past, because of history with people, because I have felt like I have been suffocating in a sea of trying my hardest not to let those things get in the way of God and me. There have been times when I have been in floods of tears, screaming out to God, asking where is He? There have been times when all I've wanted to do is cry and there have been no tears, just the pain. I have felt alone in the midst of many caring and loving people around me, yet no one really knew how I felt and what I had to face every time I walked in.
If I had of left to be comfortable, what would of happened... not a lot because I wanted to leave, I didn't need to leave and God was still needing me where I was already. So with some very wise and loving friends and leaders, I stayed knowing this is where God has placed me. And although the pain was still there I wasn't so much alone.
God gave me people, He provided for me. If you are ever feeling alone remember that God has not left you and that He is always with you.
Now God, yet again has giving me a new beginning, a fresh start, not anywhere else but here where I belong for now. His mercy is so great and I thank God so much that He will always be there and there is always another chance.
Don't be afraid, for I am with you, Do not be dismayed,
for I am your God. I will strengthen you.
I will help you. I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.
Isaiah 41:10
3 comments:
I so empathize with this particular post. I too, am encountering a similar (yet different) experience which I lightly refer to as my 'Job experience':
- where I am also questioning my church affiliation
- and where it seems everything is just going completely haywire!
I so needed to read this. I am so glad you were obedient to God, to share it.
These last two days when it seems I can't take no more, I find myself clinging to the verse 2 Chronicles 20:12b which states:
"We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you."
I personalize it ofcourse: "...I do not know what do do, but my eyes on are on you."
Wow Corina Thankyou. I'm glad that you are clinging to God throughout this tough time and my prayers are with you.
I'm glad that God has used me and my experiences to help you and when this time is over God will use you to help others too. God never stops continuing to amaze me ever through hard times! God bless
Thanks for the testimony. I'm so glad that you are where "God has placed you".
A lot of people will identify with your struggle though.
Lorelie
(Canada)
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